Ask James Diamond?
by Lil' Boy Monster
Summary: A new segment where YOU the reader get's to ask me anything and everything! from: fashion tips, hair care, love, boys, girls, Logan, Kendall, Katie and Carlos' secret diaries! I can give you the exclusives that you will NOT get anywhere else! so ASK ME!
1. Chapter 1

Ask James!

Hey there pretty people! (Obviously not more than me like duh!) This is a new segment I like to call "Ask James" in which, YOU, the readers get to ask me anything and everything! From: fashion tips, hair care tips, singing tips, love ('Cause I'm the doctor of love ;) Romance, girls, boys, parents, Logan, Katie, Kendall and Carlos' secret diaries! Shhh. Etc. Just any shit that you can think of! And I'll answer every single one honestly without bullshitting you. Because I'm too pretty for that you know?

So without further ado, gentlemen and gentlewomen, I'd like to present you with "Ask James!" ask me anything really, if you're feeling down, if you need advice, if you're having problems like in your home, or with a jealous ex, who just can't accept the fact that you want nothing to do with them anymore so they keep on stalking you everywhere because they're just too fucking stubborn to let go and you're way too pretty for that shit because god just made you this WAY AND THEY'RE ALWAYS ON THE FUCKING PROWL ABOUT WHO YOU'RE SEEING OR WHO YOU'RE WIT- sorry I got kind of out of control there, he he he he, ahem.

But anyways…

Ask me anything and I can guarantee you that I'll answer and give you advice to feed the little curiosity monsters you've all become, that you're just like dying to know everything BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST A NOSY LITTLE PIECE OF SHI-

Whoa! Deep breaths. You're fabulous.

Thank you guys and I love you. Stay pretty bitches, but not more than me because like duh I'm James Diamond. But like bye!

Ask away!

And remember, you're beautiful….

But not more than me.


	2. Chapter 2

**"abby1234"** asks:

'_1) are you single? Because I'm available ;)'_

Well, considering that you used a winking emoticon, I'm going to assume you're just looking for a lay? That little wink was far too "playful" and "suggestive" to be a serious question. But yes "**abby1234**" I am available and I do like to have a good time ;)

(you see how I used a wink there too? Okay moving on)

**"abby1234"**

Also asked:

'_2) I'm an aspiring singer. I've been taking voice lessons ever since I was 6, do you have any tips to help me with my music career?'_

This is a very good question…

Well you've been taking singing lessons since the age of 6, so I'm assuming your voice is decent enough and well trained, if you haven't stopped taking lessons that is?

Well **"abby1234"** if you know anything about me you'd know that I am also a musician. Hence BTR. Okay. Keep singing, keep writing music, keep taking lessons, the more experienced your voice is the better, trust me. If your town holds any "American Idol" type competitions, go to them and audition. And if the judges tell you that you don't have "The Fire" that's stupid don't listen to them. I mean seriously? What the fuck do they think we are? Avatar the last air bender?

No….

_"Long ago the four nations lived together in harmony, but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked…_

Instead of "The Fire" have "The Thunder" or "The Lightning" better yet "The Power"

Don't listen to Kendall, he's just stupid and dumb and really jealous because we're hella fabulous.

So keep singing, keep dreaming, never say never

_"I will never say never (I will fight) I will fight till forever (make it ri-_

*Cough*Cough* VIOLENT COUGH*Cough*

Water?

Anyways. Like I said keep singing and keep on believing that you're going to be there. Do not be afraid to take risks, like a wise blonde once said "a life without risks is a life unlived" And you know what **"abby1234"** you're halfway there!

Thank you for asking and be sure to ask again in the future.

Hugs and hair care.

* * *

><p>This next asker who I just love and am gushing over!<p>

_*please note my extreme sarcasm*_

;)

**"AlexaSummer"** asks:

"_Okay, My question is which guy (Carlitos, Kendelhia, and/or Loganator) would you go gay for?" _

….

Fuck no, they're all stupid. Carlos is an idiot, Kendall already has a big head, physically and mentally and by me being gay for him, it would just make him cockier than so. And Logan?….need I say more.

They have pinky wienes.

But NOOOOOO I'm just playing with you** "AlexaSummer"** by the way, your name sounds like you might be a little cutie ;) maybe you can leave your number next time_ *elbow nudge* eh *elbow nudge* eh…._

(crickets)

Ahem.

But to answer your question seriously. That would be a hard one. I mean they're all good looking dudes. And I do like to experiment if ya catch ma drift?

But if I absolutely had to pick one of them, I would go with….Kendall? Just 'cause, from what I've read in his diary, he gives Jo the good ol' "Kendall-Hammer"

"UH, UH, UH, HARDER KENDALL! MAKE ME YOUR BITCH!."

Motherfucking euphoria!

So there you have it. No offense to Carlos or Logan. It's just that I'd break you guys if you were to receive the "James-Pipe" sorry boys. Maybe when you grow an inch…or two.

Thank you for asking** "AlexaSummer"** I hope this was helpful!

Hugs and ( leave your number) hair care!

* * *

><p>This next asker is <strong>"Sum1cooler<strong>"- WHAT!

**_"Sum1cooler"_**? there is someone cooler than me? WHAT is this fuckery?

_*loads shotgun*_ where this foo live?

No I'm playing with you **"Sum1cooler"**

_"You think you're cooler than me, you wear designer shades, to hide your face and you wear them around like you're cooler than me…_

Anyways. **"Sum1cooler"** asks:

"_Here is a hard question: why is Carlos and Logan ALWAYS touching each other? Are they paid corpus amount to "act" gay or are they in love? What dirt can you dish on the, if I may so interject, carganness of the brt world? Shed some light" _

Well.

_Logan's personal journal: entry 502. _

_Today Carlos told me I was handsome. He held my hand in the elevator and at the pool. He is so romantic. He makes me melt like a popsicle on the fourth of July…._

Really bitch?

_Logan's personal journal: entry 50,000. BDC (before dating Carlos)_

_Like two foci of an elliptical. Your eyes entice me. Cause my cardiac muscles to palpitate. As I estimate the distance between us. I've arrived at the conclusion, that you're sitting, approximately 5 feet and 23 centimeters away from me. 7 and one half millimeters closer than yesterday. _

_As you sit there, and I calculate you potential energy, I find myself wishing that I could change, Y= mx + b into y = Unext2me. You are my complementary angle. I long to whisper that Newton's Laws were created just for you, of course that's not true, but logic doesn't matter anymore, because my feelings for you are growing exponentially. _

_Like radiation, you penetrate through my skin. You watched my veins branch like fractals, while I reached for the pencil that you dropped. You listened to the logarithm my heart produced, at a near inaudible frequency as I returned the pencil, to it's rightful owner. Like absolute zero, all molecules within me halted. In that moment your centripetal force sent me spinning and though they say opposites attract, you didn't even utter a thank you. _

_If figures. Seeing as the probability of you noticing me is exactly .41 in 10,731. But as I long to cosine my name on a love note addressed to you. You are the Pascal behind the triangle and you can count on the fact that. I'll calc-u-later. _

…..really Logan? Really? What a nerd.

I am guessing they're dating in private or they're just banging each other behind the scenes. That happens a lot, trust me.

"Hey James you remember that one time when we were in the closet and you were on your knees-

"GO AWAY KENDALL!."

"Jeez."

_*Sigh*_

I am going to have to dig way deeper in order to know the truth about "Cargan" I'll need Katie for this job.

Thank you for asking **"Sum1cooler"** be sure to leave another question!

Hugs and (YOU'RE NOT COOLER THAN ME!) hair care.

* * *

><p><strong>"MissAuthor123"<strong> asks:

"_Sooo... Care to explain any progress on the Logan/ Camille thing? Has he made up his mind? Is she still with that prom guy? Are you still in the equation?_

_Hehehe my curiosity is peaked."_

_"_

Well you little gossiper you. Logan and Camille are cordial, as in strictly friend zone. But I know they still long for each other. And yes Camille is still seeing Steve aka "That prom guy" the only thing Logan is dating is his math homework and me…in his dreams.

I am pretty sure he has his mind set on getting back with her soon, but as of now, they're just really great friends. Maybe with benefits? Maybe with peanut butter? You never know, those two are full of surprises.

I hope that answers your question **"MissAuthor123"**

Hugs and hair care, okay take care love.

* * *

><p><strong>"Boysboysboys love em"<strong> asks:

"_I need advice. I have 2 questions. Okay so here it is. 1) I'm having this relationship issue thing. So I've had only one boyfriend when i was in 7th grade. I'm in 9th grade now. I only said yes to him because i kept getting asked out by -ugly, no offense- 6th graders. Was that wrong? And 2) I have no idea how to get a boyfriend because well...im socially awkward. Doctor of love, i need your help." _

Okay first of all honey. You did good in rejecting the "6th graders" because they are babies. You have to stay away from younger boys, they don't know shit. Only how to shit and cry. They probably haven't even hit "Pube-City" and they're asking you, a "9th grader" out. LOL. What a joke. Tell them to ask you when their voices deepen and their balls drop. So no that was not wrong at all.

And second. To get a boyfriend you have to be yourself. The socially awkward girl that you are. And if you feel like that is definitely a no for you, then switch it up a little. Hang out with kids who are a bit loud, you know the ones that are outgoing. You'll pick up a few things from them. Take it from me I'm a social butterfly, I make at least 20 new friends daily. And if that doesn't work!

Play Hello Titty with him, he'll like that ;) meow.

Dammit perverted James! Get out of my pretty little head you demon.

Do not listen to him.

You don't have to whore yourself to get a guy. A guy is going to like you for you, end of story. If you have friends that tend to date a lot. Observe them. Look at how they talk, act, move, behave. And you always have to smile. Never be a glum chum, only fun hun!

With time your social awkwardness will pass you'll see. It's just one of those middle school phases, you know? Like right now you're finding yourself. Who you really are.

That shit was poetic :')

I hope my advice helps you out, if not, oh well.

Take care **"Boysboysboys love em" .**

Remember your beautiful in your way cause god makes no mistakes you're on the right track baby you were BORN THIS WAY!

Hugs and hair care.

* * *

><p><strong>"BadLuckGrl13"<strong> asks:

"_So James, why are you so narcissistic? And does Kendall have a crush on anyone? And can you read an excerpt of Katie's diary?"_

Well** "BadLuckGrl13**" the reason as to why I am so narcissistic is because well, when you have looks like mine, it's kind of protocol. It's okay to be a little vain because this country is insane. Like my mother always says "If you have it flaunt it" and like my idol, Madonna once sang." Vogue." you have to strut your shit girlfriend. I am the face of Big Time Rush.

_*jazz fingers and guitar sound*_

I'm pretty, fabulous, just plain old, James-alicious, my body stay vicious, I be up in the gym just working on my fitness! It's hot, hot!

Moving on!

But I'm pretty! Wah!

I said. Moving. On.

I don't think Kendall has a crush on anyone right now, considering that Jo just left him to go to New Zealand. He's still pretty hurt. I mean that girl Jo Taylor left my best friend to go film a three year movie in New fucking Zealand. That little blonde bitch, I just wanna scratch her little plastic eyes out for hurting Kendall!

Step back, I'm getting angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

JAMES-SMASH!

*pounds fists on ground*

Deep breaths. Out with the mad in the with the fab.

Sorry about that.

But no he's not crushing on anyone, unless…

"Hey Kendall you have a crush on me?."

"Umm…I don't think so."

"Kbye!"

Damn so close. Oh welp he doesn't have a crush on me….Or does he?

_*suspenseful music*_

_Katie Knights journal: entry 23. _

_Today while the boys were at the studio, I snuck in James' bathroom and stole a stand of his hair from his hair comb. Now all I need is toe nail clippings, teeth, and his large toe! Then my experiment will be complete. And I will own a James Diamond of my own. _

O_o...

Wait for it…

Just a second…

3, 2, 1-

:-O AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

_*girlish shriek*_

Katie is a psycho maniac! And she's trying to kill me! She's going to rip off my toe! And make a James sculpture out of my body parts!

_*jumps out the window into street traffic*_

* * *

><p>Well that is all for today's Q&amp;A. I'd like to thank those of you who participated.<p>

**abby1234**

**AlexaSummer**

**Sum1cooler**

**MissAuthor123**

**Boysboysboys love em**

And finally,** BadLuckGrl13**

You guys were wonderful and I hope to answer your questions again in the near future. You're all beautiful. But not more than me!

Oh that James!

This has been:

Ask James Diamond.

Answer you next time ;)

_XOXO James Diamond_


	3. Chapter 3

Hello friends! I see you're back with more questions?

A lot more at that. Wonderful. Let's get started shall we?

Okay.

**"AlexaSummer"** hey girl how you doin? ;)

**"AlexaSummer"** asks: "_How would you deal with rejection? As in the fact I won't leave my number for you." _

This is a joke right? Somebody? Anybody?…

What the fuck? Is this shit on the script? *flips script pages* can I talk to the director please, there seems to be a BIG problem.

Director: Hey James what seems to be the problem?

James: Hi Lil' Boy Monster. Here look at this. I think-did they write this wrong? Because it says "As in fact I won't leave my number for you."

Director: Mnope. I think that's it alright.

James: Really?

Director: Yep.

James: Okay thanks man….

*clears throat grabs bullhorn* YOU HAVE PROBLEMS!

How can? I don't eve- wha- are you-

You rejected me? Me! James Diamond! Me! WHAT! No, no, no, no, no, no. you do not reject me. Me boy, rejects you girl. Not the other way around!

*fetal position, rocking back and fourth* she rejected me. She really, honestly, truthfully rejected me.

*pulls hair and grins evilly* it's okay to be mad…we all go a little mad sometimes.

*drooling like an idiot and staring at the blank wall* like a birdie in the sky. Up above. World so high. Pretty, pretty birdie-fly.

Hi **"AlexaSummer"** this is Lil' Boy Monster filling in for James right now. He's just been taken to a mental asylum. He didn't take your rejection so well. But to answer your question. James doesn't take reje-

*falls to ground with a knife in the back of his head*

*crazy evil James appears holding bloody knife*

Listen you little Bit- GIRL. Nobody rejects me. NOBODY. I WILL FIND YOU! IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO! I WILL HAVE YOUR NUMBER. IF IT'S THE. LAST. THING. I. DO.

*thunder and evil cackling*

Ask another question **"AlexaSummer"** I dare you.

Okay! Moving along.

* * *

><p><strong>LoganHenderson Is Mine"<strong> "asks: 1_)If you were an animal, what animal would you be?_

2)What would YOU say if I said: A. I don't like super ripped dudes (you) and B. While I don't like super ripped dudes from what I've seen Logan is pretty ripped and honestly, he's the only "ripped" dude I like.

Okay. If I were an animal, what would I be? Hmmmm…

A Unicorn. Hands down. A fucking unicorn.

Why? They're majestic, like me, beautiful, like me, rare, like yours truly, and horny, like once again a me.

Onto question number 2. Okay first of all. You don't like ripped dudes like "me" what's that supposed to mean? am I, what the fuck! I'm fucking flawless yo! I'm pretty, I'm a spitting image of a god, and Logan is a spitting image of cat shit! Logan? Logan! Are you serious? First of all, "Lil' miss thang" where do you get off on choosing Logan over me? Perfection.

*signature jazz hands*

Logan is not ripped for your FYI, he's a little scrawny chicken shit. You don't like ripped guys? So what, you like little fat fucks like Gustavo? Or little skinny assholes like "Logan"

Bitch please! I'm fabulous!

*flips hair*

You wish you could touch these.

*lifts shirt and shows off washboard abs*

Please. I'm a hayla pretty.

And last of all. **Logan Hendercock** is not yours. He's mine! Humph!

Thank you for asking **"LoganHenderson Is Mine"** James was just put on time out for being such a diva. Be sure to ask again! KBYE! Ow! James quit pulling my hair!

* * *

><p><strong>"lord kiras hand"<strong> asks:

_1)has logan ever been wrong about something?_

Yes he has. For not wanting to make out with me.

_2)how do you feel about nargles and dobby's death? (harry potter world. sorry my HP obbsesed friend wanted me to ask)_

I do believe in Nargles! I do! I do!

Actually once when I was about to kiss this girl under a mistletoe, I suspected that Nargles may be infesting it. But I think they ran away because she was wearing her "Butterbeer cork necklace" that keeps them away.

_And Dobby's death?_

_*Harry holds a dying Dobby*_ "Harry…Potter" _*James grips his blanket and sobs, blowing his nose loudly into a tissue*_

"James? Are you crying?."

"No…you're eyebrows are just so fucking bushy they make me emotional sometimes."

_*Kendall looks offended and stomps out. James grips his chest and sobs louder*_

"WHY! Bellatrix! WHY!" _*cries harder*_

_3)what is the deal with logan saying "bleep, blap, bloop" when he's nervous?_

Logan says that because he get's really nervous real easily. Whether he's talking to a girl. Whether he's talking to me. I mean who wouldn't get nervous talking to this much handsome?

Or maybe it's just his own nerd language.

_4)im a shy person... is there any way to put myself out there? (did i say that right?)  
><em>

Being shy is adorable. Just look at Logie. If you really want to put yourself out there. Download the "Swagger App" it helps boost your confidence. Just don't over use it. I'm the swaggiest one of all. You understand?

Good. Thank you for asking. Ask again soon!

* * *

><p><strong>"Sum1cooler"<strong> asks:

Wait! **"Sum1cooler"** eh?

So we meet again. _*sharpens samurai sword*_

_{"Sum1cooler"? there is someone cooler than me? WHAT is this fuckery?}_

DUH! And Their names are Carlos Gracia and Logan Mitchell. XDXD

Carlos and Logan are cooler than me?

_*wild, wild west scene. Tumbleweed passes by*_

"You know it didn't have to end like this."

_*tips hat and places hands on gun holsters*_

"Draw."

I'll ignore those little comments for now.** "Sum1-who- thinks-they're-cooler-then-me"**

Onto the question:

_Ok today's question: If, hypothetically speaking, I don't know, someone slips a *couch couch "vitamin" into Carlos' juice box and throws him in a locked closet with someone, let's say Logan, what would happen? Same with Kendall. If you, I mean someone slips him a vitamin and you happen to be stuck in the closet with him, what will happen? ;] Take your time experimenting this situtaion. I can wait for you to test and share the results. ;]_

You know what? I think that has happened before at one of Guitar Dudes' parties. Someone slipped some roofies aka rapies in Carlos' drink. And then we started playing seven minutes in heaven. Carlos got Logan and they went into the closet. Well. A few minutes later we start hearing loud banging noises coming from the closet followed by loud screaming. This went on for about seven minutes or so. Anyways, we opened the closet door after seven minutes and we were met by the sight of all the walls with giant holes in them. Literally. There was big ass holes smashed into the walls. And Logan and Carlos were both panting and sweating with BIG hickeys all over their necks and Carlos was trying to button up his jeans. And Logan couldn't walk so we had to carry him to the couch.

_Same with Kendall. If you, I mean someone slips him a vitamin and you happen to be stuck in the closet with him, what will happen? ;] _

We'd fuck…

If you would ever see the "James-Pipe" you'd die. Trust me. It can do that to a bitch. They just drop like dead flies. Right to the ground. And since I don't plan on killing Logan and Carlos, cause we need them for BTR. Lames I know. I can't show them the "James-Pipe" they'd die…like I said.

Or you know what? Since you think Carlos and Logan and YOURSELF are cooler than me. Maybe I should show you the "James-Pipe"

"Hey Logan and Carlos look!."

_*pulls pants down and begins to sling it around*_

_*Carlos and Logan's eyes widen and they drop to ground*_

"He, he. Success."

"Oh **"Sum1cooler"** I have a surprise for you….

Thank you for asking **"Sum1-who-wishes-they-were-cooler-than-me"**

Be sure to ask again soon! And yes I might have to change the rating because some of these question- you little nasty ;)

* * *

><p><strong>"<strong>SpottedXStorm4ever<strong>**" asks:

_-What's wrong w/ Carlos? Not to be mean or anything. . . _

_ -I need Dr. Love 4 this! Okay, I like this guy, but before telling him how i feel, i want to be friens w/ him. But the prob is that we didnt get along, like yelling at each other bec. of a wrong answer, shushing each other to no end, kicking each other's shins. Wait, is that flirting? HELP!_

He was dropped on his head a lot when he was little and stuff like that. So that's why he wears a helmet now. Because he's a stupid ass little pig...bitch.

Girlfriend what you have going on with that friend of yours is called "Sexual Frustration"

Oh what's that!

_"If you're having endless sexual frustration, pick up the phone and call James! I'm your mothafuckin' salvation!"_

Hello dear reader. You recently inquired about a dilemma between you and your friend. Well, first off I'd like to tell you that it's all

SEXUAL FRUSTRATION...STRATION...STRATION...stration...stration...tration...ation.

Simple solution.

"FUCK HIM!."

NOOOO I'm just messing with you...

It means that he has a crush on you. Just like in kindergarten you remember? when a boy would be mean to a girl when he liked her? yeah just like that. But if keeps kicking you in the shins fucking kick him in the baby makers bitch!

Try to be nicer to him, if he keeps teasing you, he definitely has a crush on you. Welp I hope that worked.

_"If you're having endless sexual frustration, pick up the phone and call James! I'm your mothafuckin' salvation!"_

So my dea**r,"**SpottedXStorm4ever****" I hope Dr. Love was able to help you out with you're problem. If not then oh well, I ain't fucking Gandhi shit!

Take care! a bye, bye!

* * *

><p><strong>"BigtimeBitch" <strong>asks: 

_James have you ever been part of the mile high club ;) if not would you like to join?_

Yes I have in fact joined in case you were wondering.

_*James walks in with a blow up doll*_

You weren't supposed to show that!

Director: Hey bro you signed up for this.

Not for you to show me fucking a Barbie in an airplane!

Director: You mean Ken Dall right?

He, he, he _*blushes*_

Well there you have it **"BigtimeBitch"** what? you think you're so special because your name is** "BigtimeBitch"** ? Bitch I'm H.B.I.C In this motherfucking bitch, trick. Wasup. You wanna fight? you gon' do sumtin bout it homie? c'mon, I got this I'm good, Step up ho!

Ooh I wish a bitch would, I wish a bitch would!

Sorry about that. Ghetto Ja-ma-mames just stepped out there for a second.

Well take care** "BigtimeBiotch"** Just remember.

I'm the uber bitch.

* * *

><p><strong>"Devony V"<strong> asks:

_So, I'm 17 and I've never had a serious boyfriend. It was never really a concern of mine. My friend took notice of this and has set me up with a guy who I think is not only too smart for me, but is socially awkward around women. We talk sometimes, even though I'm not sure if he likes me or not. I'm not sure how this is going to work. What do I do? I'd love for him to let loose like he does around his friends but I can't see that happening. Help?_

Are you sure you're not dating Logan? because that sounds a freakishly lot like Logan.

But anyways. Chances are he doesn't know what to say to you, because maybe you're the first like real girl to ever really pay attention to him. He's nervous, he doesn't want to mess up. I suggest you hang out with his friends a bit more, get to really see what they do together, and then what you learn from hanging out with his friends, you could incorporate it into the time you spend with just him. Maybe that way he'll feel like he's with his friends and he won't be so nervous.

I really hope that works for you.

Are you really sure you're not seeing Logan?...?

*takes cell phone out*

Hey Logie! are you dating**"Devony V"**?

Um no.

Kbye!

So you guys are not dating.

But I'm keeping my eyes on you. Sneaky.

* * *

><p><strong>"abby1234"<strong> asks:

_1) do you have romantic feelings for Kendll?_

_ 2) out of all the guys, who would you marry, kiss and diss?_

Um Kendall and I are like friends with benefits, but there is the occasional feeling thrown in there. I mean we're like on again-off again type of relationship. One day we're all lovey dovey, the next we're going out with other skanks and ho bags. But you know what? I'll probably end up having his babies. And his ass will be taken to "Jerry Springer" when he denies that those are not his kids. And he wont be able to do the "You are not the father" happy dance when the final results come in. Because he is my baby daddy gurl and he better put a ring on it or his balls are going to get chopped off and fed to Lightning. Humph. Who does he think he is? the boss of this bitch? fuck that shit aye. I'm head bitch of this bitch, bitch._  
><em>

Second question. I have to fuck one, marry one and kill one.

Fuck Carlos, cause I've always wanted to taste "Tabasco" hot sauce on a hot tamale and that's what I think he'd taste like, all spicy and exotic and shit. Like putting "Tapatio" in your cup of noodles bitch. Marry Logan because it seems like the natural order of things. Like he's the type of guy you bring home to your parents. He'd be a really wonderful stay at home daddy.

And finally. Kill Kendall. Just cause I'm getting sick of his blonde, smug ass. He thinks he's all high and mighty with his "Matrix of leadership" well he's not. He's just stupid. I can be a leader too. I have looks, attitude and the will power to do so. If I do say so myself. Kendall is just a fucking Chihuahua all bark and no bite. I mean that's cute but I'm a damn Rottweiler, You can't keep a bad bitch down, fuck the world.

Thank you for asking! ask again love!

* * *

><p><strong>"BadLuckGrl13"<strong> asks:

_have you heard about fanfiction? Are you bi-sexual? Is Cuda really that awesome even when it caused you to swell up? Why do you keep using it?_

_ P.S Logan is an AWESOME geek and is way cooler than you :P_

First of all biznatch. Logan is not more awesome than me. He's a fucking kitty cat that takes shits everywhere when he get's scared. He ain't shit. He's a "My little pony" bitch who ain't going to do shit. And secondly, yes I know about "Fanfiction" for I am currently writing on it. Durr. And yes I am bi-sexual. You buy me something I become Sexual ;) wink wink

But seriously, I am little curious when it's with the right guy you know? I mean my friends are fucking hot I think it's safe to say you agree with me there. I mean I'd bang. Three to fifty times a day home girl.

What? jelly? you lime green jello that I'm getting them like my pillow gets head? huh?

Na I'm messing with you. Anyways thanks for asking! I hope you ask again!

Hugs and hair care!

* * *

><p><em>Ranting with James: I'm not a bitch but I can be.<br>_

I went to "rite aid_" _the other day and people always stare at me like "oh he's going to steal something!" and I'm like "Bitch I'm not going to steal nothing bitch! like I'm just coming up in here to get a fucking Ice Cream bitch! but I have to take off my fucking earrings all the time because these bitches always wanna get crazy and stuff like that!"

I know I may seem like a bitch, but I'm a good person you know? like at heart. But it's also like, when I really want to do something bad I'll do something bad! I'll bash out your fucking windows aye? it's every man for themselves aye! _  
><em>

Anyways the only reason as to why I'm a bitch is because people give me a reason to be a bitch. Like the other day I was at the movie theaters with my home girl Camille. And who did I see? yeah my "Boy toy" Kendall with that slutty ass goofy bitch Jennifer one! yeah I swear to god I wanted to fucking cut her head off and make head tacos with it. Good thing I had just gotten my new 'Cuda cologne, becasue all I had to do was look at him.

Ahh me so horny, ahh ahh me so horny me love you long time!

It's all in the eyes. We're trying to get your man back with the fucking eyes. Because our eyes are the windows to our soul and our soul is fucking pissed. So we want him to know that our windows are fucking open.

That was poetic :')

* * *

><p><strong>Additional Questions from Anonymous: <strong>

**From people who are too much of pussies to show their faces and ask these dumb ass questions.**

_Jamie baby I heard that "Vivid" offered you four million for a sex tape with a famous boxer called "El Sad Boy" how good was he?_

That's a lie, that's a lie. But like I'm classy. _*smiles innocently*_ Who the fuck is "El Sad Boy" ? I'm not trying to hang around people who are depressed all the time.

_"James your hella dope but like whatevers"_

Okay then! that's not a fucking question.

_"James do you like little babies?"_

Fuck no. Kids get on my nerves.

_"James are you still dating Annie from the beach?."_

Who the fuck is Annie and when did I date her?

_"James Diamond you are my idol"_

Aww! thank you but that's not a damn question.

"James let's golf!"

Fuck no! golfing is for old ass people.

_"James will you please ask Kendall to marry me?"_

Kendall is a pussy ass bitch who talks shit about girls all the time.

_"Do you like reading?"_

What the hell do I look like? Hortence?

_"Do you watch pretty little liars?"_

Hey I'm a pretty little liar. What? oh watch out I'm a pretty little liar!

_"Favorite color?"_

Gold.

"_Hair or no hair?."_

Hair.

_"Is Carlos your pimp?"_

Shut the fuck up.

_"Is it true you're pregnant with Logan?"_

...How the hell would I be pregnant with Logan? he cant fit inside me.

_"Would you rather be rich or more attractive?" _

*looks at himself in mirror* *rolls eyes*

* * *

><p>Thank you guys for asking these questions. Be sure to leave another.<p>

Hugs and hair care.

XOXO

James Diamond.


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